First off, I talked to Drew this morning. He is doing really well. He speaks of the Iraqi children quiet often. The children there are desperate for change. The problem is...their parents brain wash them from the start. He said there are some very good people in Iraq that are willing to accept change, but they are punished for the ones who are not. This deployment has changed him in such a short time. I can tell in his voice, topic of conversation, the good-bye's, and mainly the heart-ache; not just for us, but for their country. I really enjoy our chats, and it truly makes my day easier hearing his voice and knowing he is okay. I can't wait to see him and pick up where we left off. He says hello to everyone back home!
I have never loved someone as much as I love him. Many people have asked me, how do you do it? It's not the easiest thing I have done, but I find joy in things I do for him, even though he is halfway around the world. Sending boxes of stuff is something that makes me smile. Not only does it give me joy, but makes him happy receiving things from home. It's more the thought than the stuff. I plan to send him at least one a week while he is gone. :) Most people are blessed and they don't even realize it. Most people have a spouse to come home to, someone to fill their hearts with love and happiness, daily. Unfortunately, I do not have that...but I am not feeling sorry for myself either. We chose this way of life, but I wish more people could experience it. It makes meaningless things meaningful. I just wish people could realize what they have and not take it for granted. If there is one thing i have learned throughout all of this is to love, whole heartedly, never go to bed mad, always say "I love you" before hanging up the phone or going to bed, because you never know when God will take that away from you. We are all children of God, whether you believe it or not. God has our entire lives planned for us...he chooses how we live, how we die, who we love, and all in between. Everyday is a gift so treat it as a gift. Emotionally, this has been a strain on both of us. However, what gives me strength is knowing we are not the only ones. We will make it because our love is stronger than a deployment. A few years go, I had NO idea this is what God had planned for us. He has shown us His calling and we respect that. We can only grow from it, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I just hope this finds people thanking God and one another for the love and relationships you do have.
On another note, I visited a new church in Huntsville with Brian, Rachel, Sarah, and baby Rylee. I enjoyed it so much. I am glad that they have a website so I can watch the service if I am not in Huntsville. It's called The Rock Fellowship Center. It was a contemporary service, and I was amazed at the amount of people who joined for service; people from all walks of life. The word Pastor Rusty preached was amazing. It brought tears to my eyes. It showed me how God works in mysterious ways. My brother and I were talking about some questions Drew had about his job Saturday night, then when we got to church...Pastor Rusty preached about the same topic and answered questions I have had for a long time. It was God's way of showing me and reaching out to me. I left their completely humbled and a new person with a new perspective on life as well as my spiritual relationship with God. I really needed that and it helped me move on.
I have been distant to many people lately. I feel so guarded about my feelings an emotions. It scares me when people ask how Drew is...it completely breaks me down some days. I guess I should just let the tears run. Most days I am emotional only when I am alone. I hurt every single day when I wake up without him by my side. It's emotionally shattering building a life for 8 years and just when it's supposed to come together, it's torn apart. I am so tired of people asking me how married life is. The truth is, I don't have the slightest idea. I guess it's just a conversation starter, but honestly, it hurts to answer that question. Although I have my emotional moments, I feel I have kept it together pretty well. I will continue to be the strong, loving, Army wife I have become. I will continue to grow with God and my husband. It can only go up from here. The truth is...you can never miss someone, until you no longer have them. God chooses wisely, those that seek Him, will find him. (- Proverbs 8:17) With that said, I am loved, not only by Him, but many others, and that I am forever grateful.
Hope you all had an amazing Valentine's. Although Drew wasn't here, I was loved from many miles away. That, I am sure of.
Goodnight,
Rachael
I have never loved someone as much as I love him. Many people have asked me, how do you do it? It's not the easiest thing I have done, but I find joy in things I do for him, even though he is halfway around the world. Sending boxes of stuff is something that makes me smile. Not only does it give me joy, but makes him happy receiving things from home. It's more the thought than the stuff. I plan to send him at least one a week while he is gone. :) Most people are blessed and they don't even realize it. Most people have a spouse to come home to, someone to fill their hearts with love and happiness, daily. Unfortunately, I do not have that...but I am not feeling sorry for myself either. We chose this way of life, but I wish more people could experience it. It makes meaningless things meaningful. I just wish people could realize what they have and not take it for granted. If there is one thing i have learned throughout all of this is to love, whole heartedly, never go to bed mad, always say "I love you" before hanging up the phone or going to bed, because you never know when God will take that away from you. We are all children of God, whether you believe it or not. God has our entire lives planned for us...he chooses how we live, how we die, who we love, and all in between. Everyday is a gift so treat it as a gift. Emotionally, this has been a strain on both of us. However, what gives me strength is knowing we are not the only ones. We will make it because our love is stronger than a deployment. A few years go, I had NO idea this is what God had planned for us. He has shown us His calling and we respect that. We can only grow from it, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I just hope this finds people thanking God and one another for the love and relationships you do have.
On another note, I visited a new church in Huntsville with Brian, Rachel, Sarah, and baby Rylee. I enjoyed it so much. I am glad that they have a website so I can watch the service if I am not in Huntsville. It's called The Rock Fellowship Center. It was a contemporary service, and I was amazed at the amount of people who joined for service; people from all walks of life. The word Pastor Rusty preached was amazing. It brought tears to my eyes. It showed me how God works in mysterious ways. My brother and I were talking about some questions Drew had about his job Saturday night, then when we got to church...Pastor Rusty preached about the same topic and answered questions I have had for a long time. It was God's way of showing me and reaching out to me. I left their completely humbled and a new person with a new perspective on life as well as my spiritual relationship with God. I really needed that and it helped me move on.
I have been distant to many people lately. I feel so guarded about my feelings an emotions. It scares me when people ask how Drew is...it completely breaks me down some days. I guess I should just let the tears run. Most days I am emotional only when I am alone. I hurt every single day when I wake up without him by my side. It's emotionally shattering building a life for 8 years and just when it's supposed to come together, it's torn apart. I am so tired of people asking me how married life is. The truth is, I don't have the slightest idea. I guess it's just a conversation starter, but honestly, it hurts to answer that question. Although I have my emotional moments, I feel I have kept it together pretty well. I will continue to be the strong, loving, Army wife I have become. I will continue to grow with God and my husband. It can only go up from here. The truth is...you can never miss someone, until you no longer have them. God chooses wisely, those that seek Him, will find him. (- Proverbs 8:17) With that said, I am loved, not only by Him, but many others, and that I am forever grateful.
Hope you all had an amazing Valentine's. Although Drew wasn't here, I was loved from many miles away. That, I am sure of.
Goodnight,
Rachael
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