"Dear John"

I looked back and realized I never truly reflected on the day Drew came home. Tonight, the emotions I haven't felt since November resurfaced. Drew and I enjoyed a night to ourselves, dinner and a movie. :) Dear John...was the movie of our choice. As I watched the first half of the movie, I felt as though I was watching the past 11 months of my life on a big screen. Until today, I never completely realized what Drew and I truly experienced the first year of our marriage. I know that sounds silly, but, I guess when you're in the moment, it's all survival skills and that's how you live from day to day. Any military spouse will totally, 100% agree with me when I say deployments SUCK. But, I guess with anything in life, what you make of it, will be how you reflect on that situation at hand.

Deployments are hard, but what I learned from being away from half of my heart for 11 months, changed my life forever. To be honest, I tucked away most of those feelings the night he got off of the airplane and nestled into my arms. At that point, I knew I didn't have to say goodbye again for at least 12 months, and praying daily for longer. I know, without a doubt, all of this made my skin a little thicker, and my heart a little softer. We all have our own stories and hardships that come and go throughout our lifetimes. This was one, for us. I pray as each day passes that God allows me to make everything of each day he gives me. If that means enduring another deployment, that's what He has planned for our lives, and much like other hardships that have come, we can learn and grow from those too.

I don't want to give away much of the movie, for those of you who haven't seen it. But...when John and Savannah are writing letters to each other from half way around the world, all I could think about was the three-ring binder tucked away in my closet full of letters from Drew. Much like John, I can remember sitting in my floor one day flipping through the letter-filled binder and counting the many months that had passed and remembering that time does pass. As each letter reflected on a different day and eventually month, what it really meant was, time had passed and it was one day closer to being in his arms again. I know, one day...my children and grandchildren will enjoy reading those love letters, letters from war. They were written with caring, loving, and aching hearts.

The day he walked back into my life in person, rather than on web-cam, satellite cell phone calls, e-mails, photos, and letters...was by far the happiest moment of my life. I get teary-eyed thinking about seeing him step off of that airplane first, onto the tarmac. I caught a glimpse of his ACU backpack and those desert boots, and it all made sense. Every lonely night, every tear, every post office run, every stamp, every care package...was worth that moment. Staring out of those big windows awaiting his plane where I had last left tears of sadness, now dropped tears of joy. When I saw his glowing smile for the first time, I melted, my heart melted and all I could do was smile, laugh, and cry. It was over....it was finally over! I hope that feeling, that very moment is something that I never forget, that we never forget. Our lives began again that moment and from that day forward...to love and cherish every moment with each other has been my wish. God has answered so many prayers for us both. His grace continues to fill our hearts, now with two babies on the way. He is so good, and praised with every ounce of my heart and soul from the inside, out.

Please, take today and each day from here on, and cherish your loved ones.
One of my favorite quotes from the movie...
"The problem with time....eventually, time always runs out."