Am I Crazy?

Today, I've found myself in a low point throughout this roller coaster. I talked to Drew for a long time today and actually got to see him on the web cam, yet I still feel uneasy. I've had insanely scary dreams within the last week and for some reason, they wont go away. It seems like every night, once I do fall asleep, these dreams pick up where they left off. Is it an intuition that something bad will happen? I haven't dreamed in months, and then all of a sudden, I dream for 6 nights in a row...but I don't like it, AT ALL! I find myself waking up anxious until I hear from him. I'm afraid I will wake to a horrible missed call on my cell. I just can't live like this!! It's truly driving me crazy. This new security agreement has worried me. I know the violence has increased since the US pulled out of the cities and maybe it's weighing too heavily on my mind. Another thing, I've been super jumpy lately...the smallest things scare me. I know I have accrued a lot of stress lately with the house, new job, and deployment. However, I know I am strong enough to handle it...God made me that way! =) I'm hoping to get a good night's sleep tonight without the scary dreams.

I just need to relax a little more, place my faith in the Lord and hopefully that can ease my sleepy mind. I sprayed my pillows with Drew's cologne about a week ago. That's kind of a weird kept secret of mine, but maybe that's making me have the dreams; smelling his scent as I fall asleep. I know...it's weird, but you do what you gotta do. Don't knock it! Lol...I truly miss him terribly. You miss the small things, even their smell.

Pray for us, and pray these dreams cease, or I will be in a nuthouse before you can blink your eyes. I will keep y'all posted. Goodnight...